You can be so Cruel
by vicx666
Summary: My own look at Harley Quinn falling for the Joker and their relationship. Starting from the first meeting in Arkham Asylum..but then gets a little more twisted
1. Chapter 1

Heya! This is my first time posting my fanfiction, this is one i wrote up last night and decided to post...sorry for my grammar guys! Its a work in progress im gonna write more hopefully (and edit out mistakes) but please tell me what cha think :)

**Disclaimer I do not own any batman characters or any such, this is just my own interpretation of beloved characters :)**

I couldn't help but stare at my reflection, not that I was particularly vain, but everything was crucial. The slightly flaw could result in a failure, and when my life and career was on the line…..I couldn't make any mistakes. I attempted to stare down myself the mirror showing only complete calm but even I could see the fragile intern behind my eyes.

Dr. Harleen Quinzel, top of my class, getting into college on a scholarship no less. A fully fledged psychiatrist and I liked to think I had serious ambition. I had worked hard to be taken seriously. Now I was confronted with the most amazing opportunity, to further my career and truly have a fascinating patient. The only problem was the thought of _him_ completely terrifies me, and I haven't even meet the Joker yet.

I'd only been interning at the Arkham Asylum for a few months when the notorious Joker was send to the Arkham Asylum. I'll admit I had shiver of fear at the thought of such a dangerous villain being in the Asylum. I knew I spend all time amongst the criminally insane, but he was something else…..I'd watched all the news clips I could find on him when I head he was being transferred. His maniac moods, his cruelty weren't out of place for me. It was the cunning behind his eyes that made me shiver even from the safe distance of my living room.

But even I couldn't deny to myself how much I would love to talk to him, not just because it would rocket my career forward. No, what drew me was the thought of such a fascinating patient. I wanted to delve into that mind and see what was behind those cunning eyes. Yet the thought of delving into that dark chaotic mind of his send me into a panic.

The day he'd been brought in, I'd just been in the staff room chatting to a few of the nurses who I actually vaguely knew. I'd only made a joke, well it sounded jokey at least, about how I would kill for a chance to interview him, but it was overheard by the head of the institute Peter Kingston. He was as stern as he was patronising. He'd actually laughed.

"Listen Harleen, you've impressed us that's not in question. In fact you are quiet brilliant, I did see the tape of your session with David the other day and he's certainly so much calmer in his sessions now" Followed with a classic patronising smile as though he was a proud father "But, you're still just out of college it's a bit early to be thinking you could handle someone like the Joker"

All it needed was for him to pat me on the head.

Even three months on that smile was seared into my mind, even thinking about it brought out a furious blush. For a solid three months I'd devoted my entire time to proving just how _brilliant_ I was. It wasn't as if I'd aimed to get the Joker as a patient. Yes, the idea played at the edge of my conscious but in practise being in a room alone with_ him_ terrified me. If only I'd kept my mouth shut.

It wasn't exactly hard to shine in Arkham. It wasn't a place for the weak hearted and not just surviving but thriving had put me in the lime light, an up and coming star at Arkham. I remember coming in so smug only a few days ago, my newly earned respect making me feel more confident in the halls of Arkham. But you should always be careful what you wish for. I just wanted to be taken seriously, that and wipe of Peter's infuriating smile but I got more than I bargained for.

Peter had come into my office looking all serious and instantly my mind went into a panic, thinking off all the damage any one of the patients could do.

"What's happened?"

"Ohhh nothing bad Quinzel, in fact I think you'll be very pleased." There again was that patronising smile again, "We've all taken notice off you. I must say I always knew you were brilliant. I'm so glad you'd progressed well here"

While repressing the urge to gag, I had given my best fake smile "Ohh Kingston, it really is all thanks to all the support I get here." I paused waiting for him to tell me the reason he'd come to my office, but of course he just kept smiling waiting for me to ask. "So what's the good news" I remember trying to act casual but my heart rate was increasing, my lungs seemed to have disappeared because I already knew what he was going to say.

"Well Quinzel, I've convinced the other officials that you would be just perfect to take on the Joker as a patient. I'm sure you've heard we've had no luck with him so far, but you seem to be so good at really connecting and calming your patients. We figure you might be the one finally get him to….open up"

That had been three days ago and I've felt like I was on death row since. I spent all my spare time going through taps of the Jokers sessions and any notes I could get my hands on. I noticed sickly that no psychiatrist lasted more than two sessions. It was easily to pick up his routine, he was either unresponsive simply looking bored. If they managed to catch his attention he was cruel, causing breakdown in even professionals.

There were even violent outbreaks, just watching him almost strangle one of the orderlies before he was dragged off by two others, laughing the whole time. But surprisingly violent outbreaks where rare, but that didn't mean it wasn't possible. After watching a of his session with a female psychiatrist, who's face I vaguely recalled, I decided to wear my hair pulled up as tightly as possible. Watching him grab her hair as she lent to close and pulled out a noticeable chunk before he could be pulled away made my blood run cold.

I couldn't sleep without nightmares or at due to nausea. I didn't want to waste this chance, I wanted to prove, to myself most of all, that I could handle any patient that came here. Half way through trying once more to perfect a cold unaffected expression Peter opened my office door. Despite my resolve to be strong all I couldn't even hear whatever bullshit encouragement Peter was spewing, all I could hear was my heart beat pounding.


	2. Chapter 2

_Heya guys! This is my second chapter and it took a little longer to write then the last, it was fun to finally write in the Joker...but very hard XD i hope you enjoy reading it and feel free to tell me what cha think :) (also sorry in advanced for any grammar spelling mistakes...it was kinda late when i posted this so i might have misses a few _

Time seemed to slow as I walked into the room, my heart still pounding as though it was trying to explode out of my chest. There _he _was. Handcuffed and secured in a chair, there was even a table to put distance between us. Not that it would make that much difference. In one of the video's sessions I'd seen him reach across that table with ease. His handcuffs had been slightly slack, no doubt through his own trickery, he'd smash a psychiatrist face onto the table in one lightning fast terrible moment. I was not foolish enough to think even for a second he didn't have some sort of way to hurt me.

Even with the two burly orderlies standing guard by the door. I was strangely comforted to see Steven there. I had never been much for making friends but at least I vaguely knew Steven, a familiar face. He'd always seemed like a reliable and able orderly, in fact he was quiet liked by many of the patient but I still felt as though my legs might collapse under me. _He_ didn't even look up, simply staring at the floor when I walked in. I tried to walk calmly to the chair, and had to repress a sigh of relief when I sat down. Thankful I hadn't just collapsed walking in.

_First challenge, confident entrance managed just. _However it was somewhat pointless because the Joker still wasn't looking up, already playing disinterested.

"Hello, my names Dr. Quinzel and I'll be your psychiatrist from today." I didn't expect a reaction. Honestly since he was staring at the ground I figured he would do his despondent routine. I'd already been planning in my head a few questions that might draw some sort of a response when his head shot up quickly.

So quickly I unconsciously flinched back. His scars were…noticeable to say the least. Without the iconic make up they were even more prominent. No longer covered by the red grease paint the raised puckered scars seems to stand out harshly against his pale skin.

"Why you're a little… young to be a doctor" Each word he said seems to spill from his mouth, dripping sarcasm. He exaggerated looking me up and down, almost sexually but I knew it was just a way to intimidate me. _So it's the personal attack strategy_ I thought, at least I was prepared for the obvious remarks on my appearance and age.

"Do you really think they'd put someone inexperienced on your case, considering your history" I tried to angle towards some sort of flattery. The Joker seems like a narcissist and maybe acknowledging how dangerous he was might get a positive reaction. What I wasn't expecting was his laughter, it almost sounded like a howl as he lent back and laughed for what seemed like an age.

"Oh Doc, you and I both know they'd eh put anyone in here they think can get me to _talk_."

"Well if they have faith I can get you to talk to me, then I must be good" I liked to think my voice sounded confident, there wasn't even a hitch at the end. I sounded steady and strong but that didn't make a difference.

He just continued his laughing and looked passed me completely to the two orderlies.

"I think you better take me back to my cell, this doc's _just _not…right for me. Better luck next time" He winked at the camera in the corner of the room that was recording the session, most likely to a room full of the Asylums most influential. I didn't dare turn my back on him to gauge the reaction of the two men, but I knew my time was running out fast. It wasn't just these two who might give in to the Jokers demands. The officials watching this session with eagle eyes might be losing interest and could pull me out at any second.

I needed to engage him.

"I have a question for you" As soon as the words came out of my mouth I realised my mistake, I was giving up what little authority I had in the situation. Even I could hear the hesitation in my voice, it was as though I was asking permission to question him, and it made me vulnerable.

"You're the doc…. aint ya?" There was that grin. It send chills through me just seeing it. "Didn't you say you're bosses had faith in you? I think they threw you to the wolves little doctor, wanna know why?"

I didn't trust myself to even speak, there was an intensity in those eyes that froze me in place. As he leaned in over the table I felt as though my heart might break out of my chest and run for the door body itself, because my body wouldn't move an inch.

"There all…schemers. See you're just a pawn little Doc, a part of a bigger plan. There just sacrificing you up, hoping to learn just a little bit more about me from how I _tear_ you apart."

"This isn't a game Joker" I tried so hard to sound convincing, but I couldn't shake how easily I had been given the Joker as a patient. And now Peter smug grin was over lapping the Jokers own until my mind started to blur.

"Come on then docccctorrrr, hurry up and fix me already. That's what you're hear for isn't it." He held up his hands mockingly above the table together as though in surrender.

"I don't think you need fixing, honestly I doubt you're insane" The words just spilled out before my brain kicked. _Harleen, just what are you thinking! _In that moment I couldn't honestly say why I had said it, but in truth the Joker was like no patient I had ever encountered. Never had I felt such a presence, and I don't mean physically. He could easy use his size to intimidate me, but it was his mind that dominated the session. He was certainly deadly, and deserved to be locked up far away from anybody. But how could someone so sharp, as attentive to every detail, who's mentality far out powered mine be insane?

I was so deep in my own thought I hadn't even noticed the Joker staring at me like I'd grown a second head right in front of him. He wasn't even laughing this time, simply staring at me appraisingly. Then a buzzer went off, breaking the eye contact. It came from behind me in the direction of the orderlies. It was clearly the signal from the higher up's that the session needed to be ended immediately. They pushed past me roughly almost in unison.

"Ermmm Harleen, that's Kingston's signal, you should probably leave before we unchain the restrains from the chair." He sounded genuinely concerned and I couldn't help but wonder what damage the Joker had done in the past as he made his big exit.

He looked quickly at the Joker who was leant back in the chair, looking casually in control even with two very muscled men clearly about to strong arm him back to his cell. I didn't trust my voice not to break, all the fear and emotions I'd been almost successful at repressing in the session felt like they were about to pour out. The last thing I heard as the door shut behind me was the Jokers laughter between shouting out my name.

"Ohhh Harleeen, Dr Harrlleeennn Quinzel. Little Harley"


	3. Chapter 3

_Hello again guys, sorry this last chapter took so long to upload i've just moved to uni so was very busy! When i was writing this i couldn't decide whether i liked it or not, but i thought i would use it because it gives a look at Harley's view of the Jokers mind, as well as set up for the slow obsession that's about to build! I hope you guys like it and hopefully the next chapter will be up much sooner, i've got something really fun planned out in the next few chapters :3_

The minuet I was out the door and away from that room, all I wanted was have a quiet moment to myself. I wanted to truly come to terms with what I'd said in that session, and what the Joker had said to me. But more importantly I needed to plan my next approach. However clearly Kingston had other ideas.

It was almost comical the way he was hovering outside my office. His every effort to look casual instead of ready to ambush me failed. It was the forced pretence that made him look like some sort of parody. It wasn't like he hadn't seen every single thing that had happen in the session, from the safety of his office. All I could hear was the Jokers word, sacrifice, flashing in my head like a neon sign. I don't think I could stand any more of upbeat, fake Peter for the moment.

"Peter can this grilling wait? You've got the recording but I need a moment to myself okay" I knew I was over stepping lines, Peter _was_ my superior. I wouldn't usually be this blunt but I figured I could probably get away with it this once.

"Ohhh Harleen, don't worry at all. I wouldn't dream of questioning you right now. No I came to congratulate you." I honestly think my vision flashed red for a brief moment at that utter lie, and when he gestured for me to come into my own office topped off with his signature patronising smile I could practically taste the rage. Clearly my emotions were fried after the stress of the Joker.

Instead of pushing my luck any further, I decided that if I could restrain my emotions with the Joker I could easily contain myself around Kingston. But first, I needed to know….I had to silence the Jokers laughter in my head.

"Peter, I have to ask a question. Did you really pick me because you thought I was capable or because you thought my appearance would provoke a response?"

To his credit he paused, and actually thought about what he was saying instead of blurting out a happy encouraging lie. Even I was surprised at how his face changed from his light hearted smug smiling, taking on a grim expression as he looked me up and down.

"Honestly it was both." He leaned forward and I've never seen him look more serious as he cut of my protest with a wave of his hand "I know you want to be upset but why should you be? We thought that a young vulnerable looking girl would provoke a reaction. Yes it was like putting a deer in with a predator to force them to reveal their nature. BUT. We knew you could handle it, which was why we picked you."

I was slightly shocked by the honestly off it.

"We didn't want you to play vulnerable though, because the Joker would pick up instantly on anything fake, it had to be real. I truly am sorry about the way we used you, but it had to be done. You see, we have to get results on such a high profile case. The fact that nearly 12 different members of staff have either failed or quit does not look good for the Arkham."

I stared him in the eyes and realised I don't think I'd ever noticed how tired they looked. Without that infuriating smile of his, it was easy to see the bags under his eyes, the blood shot stress signs and the general weariness that rolled of him. The stress of running Arkham Asylum was clearly getting to Peter and I could imagine how the board of directors where breathing down is neck for results, results that I could help him get. It wasn't just my career on the line.

_The Joker wants me to distrust people, that's what he does. He creates chaos. At least they thought I could handle the attacks from him, let's prove them right. Who cares if Kingston used me, I still get the most high profile case in the Asylum. _

"Listen Kingston, I don't like the way you guys used me. However it's your job to use me I suppose, if it can get the Joker talking, even if it's in insults, I don't care."

Standing up I decided it was time I actually stood up for myself for once, I couldn't be passive Harleen any longer if I wanted to keep up the respect Kingston has shown today

"You just have to respect me from this point on. I'm not just a pawn you send it, to sit and be abused while you do the work. This is my case and I want you to let me handle it my way. Understand?"

For the second time today my attempts at being taken seriously where laughed at. Admittedly Peter's was far more light hearted then the cruel howling of the Joker.

"You know Harleen, I think you get underestimated a lot. But before I can fully sign of on letting an intern be in charge of the Joker, you need to sit down and answer one question."

"Well, being underestimated works in my favour" I replied with a sigh as I sat down, feeling like a naughty school child yet again.

"Do you think the Joker is insane?" The intensity of his stare caught me of guard, any trace of the light hearted Peter Kinston was gone, and in place the true head of the Arkham Asylum was finally present.

I thought carefully about my words before I spoke, knowing that my career was on the line here.

"If you asked me as a professional I would say yes certainly he's insane. He exhibits a complete lack of empathy and a narcissistic nature that would suggest schizophrenia." I took a deep breath, if Kingston could be honest with me then I would show him the same curtesy.

"But off the record I honestly don't know. I'm not saying people who are insane can't be intelligent, there are so many study that prove that that the most dangerously insane are those with intelligence. I can't describe to you what it's like talking to him. Everything he says, everything he does it calculated and thought out. I wonder if he puts on his insane façade to lull people into a false sense of security. And if he is insane, he knows it. He wants it, uses it to his advantage. Honestly I don't think there's anything anyone could do to help him. If we can prove he's not insane, he can be tried in court fully and locked away for life even get the chair. Question is how we can ever prove he's sane? What he is, deviates so entirely from are perception of sane that there's no way anyone who hadn't talked to him could see what I've seen. The Joker is an utterly unique case, someone fascinating that we could study for years and still never understand. Short answer, I have no idea. Does that answer your question?" It came out in a blurt, my mind was a whirlwind when it came to the Joker, I just couldn't map out my thoughts properly.

There was a horrid silence. Instead of responding to what I said, Peter simply got up and walked towards the door. _Damn it Harleen, you messed it up completely! You don't even really know whether the Joker was sane or not in your own mind why let them see how conflicted you are. _

Peter turned around with the strangest look on his face, I couldn't decipher it. I almost shivered in fear from the strange mask like expression he had when he was staring back at me.

"That was an honest answer, I'll give you the Joker case. _Depending_ on the results of the second session."

And that was it, no comment on what I said or what he thought. He just closed the door behind him leaving me shocked that I'd actually managed to convince him. I couldn't help feeling a thrill that I'd get to see the Joker again, before my mind actually caught up and realised that I would have to see the Joker again…be in a room with that gloating calculated smile.

God I had such issues.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hello guys, this chapters a bit longer, I had planned to split the chapter but i just wanted to get straight to the Joker! It was hard to write this scene, i get my inspiration mainly from Heath Ledgers version of the Joker, but there are elements of the Joker from the Arkham games, and the animated series so do tell me what you think of my version of the Joker :3 (once again sorry for spelling mistakes! :/)_

The next week passed in a blur of apprehension and excitement, my conflicting emotions wreaking havoc on my sleeping patterns. My mind was completely focused on ways to expose the Joker, my last chance. But it was no longer about my career, it was becoming more personal. There was something about the Joker that I found absolutely fascinating, I was becoming obsessed with exposing his true nature, seeing under neither the façade. Yet his fierce eyes and ever fiercer grin haunted my dreams.

I'd made the decision to schedule our second session exactly a week after the first. To my superiors my reason was to allow for a routine to form, allowing the Joker to adjust to the idea of me as his psychiatrist. In reality it was to mentally prepare myself. In my normal sessions all week my mind was barely present, not that my patients were any more mentally present than me.

The only patient that picked up on my quiet withdrawn attitude was poor David Moore in yesterday's session. He suffered from violent psychotic breakdowns that would frighten even the most experienced nurse. I'll admit I've had a soft spot for David. Kingston wasn't exaggerating when he'd said I'd help him come a long way all those months ago.

David had been my first patient at Arkham and we truly had developed almost a friendship in those months of sessions. It was because of our strange blossoming friendship that he'd opened up about his tragic past, the nightmares that didn't leave him when he was awake and all the voices. There was something sweet about him when he was calm. He was oddly soft spoken when subdued which contrasted with his rabbit screams any time he wasn't.

In our regular midweek session we routinely going through his hallucinations. In fairness I hadn't been listening overly carefully, I'd been too busy thinking on the problem with the Joker. He occupied most of my thoughts. There were so many different angels I could try in an attempt to get him to reveal more of himself, innocent, vulnerable, confident, calculating. The only problem was the Joker would pick up on any tactic I tried, and easily disarm and distract me. I was so deep in contemplation I didn't even notice that the session with David was nearly over.

"Sorry David, I'm afraid that's all we've got time for. I know it's hard for you to recount the hallucinations without going into a rage. The fact you can shows that it's possible to overcome them" I tried to smile in the usual way that was second nature around David, but even I could feel how forced it was.

As the orderly came in to escort David back to his cell he had looked up at me in such a strange way, like a concerned parent.

"You aint the same today. You should be like you always are…I don't like it when you're being someone eles…" looking down he muttered it so quietly I could barely hear him. I wasn't even sure I was meant to, but it resonated in my mind all the way home last night.

The solution was so simple, it almost seemed so simple to work. Peter has summed it up perfectly _the Joker would pick up instantly on anything fake_. There was no way I could create a persona that would stand up to the Joker, the only solution was to simply be myself and hope that would be enough to withstand the assaults the Joker would no doubt deliver. Had it not been her personality that had helped David open up, had helped countless other patients?

_Well not really Harley, you always put on a face for your patients. You spend your entire life acting, _was the reply from the cynical part of my mind. It didn't matter though, because I was seeing the Joker today and it was the only idea I'd had all week that could even have a chance. The only problem was convincing Kingston to the second part of my plan that had come to me at 3 in the morning while sleep avoiding me.

It was surreal to walk down the corridors of Arkham, knowing that I was heading towards the Joker yet again, and while I wanted to think I was more confident this time my legs still shook as I walked. Peter was hovering outside the door to the therapy room rather than my office today, at least he was consistent in his habits. He must have seen my facial expression harden as I came round the corner because he instantly attempted to look guilty.

"Don't worry, I'm not here to lecture you. I'm sure you understand the importance of this session, I just came to wish you good luck I suppose" Then he gave me that same cheerful patronising smile, clearly he wanted to establish the boundaries again. Fine. It was good that he was here because it forced me to ask his permission for phase two of the natural Harley approach. I hadn't worked up the nerve to find him and ask, but seeing as he was here there was nothing to lose.

"Listen Kingston I'm glad you're here, there was something I wanted to ask. I want the orderlies to wait outside during the session." I tried to gauge his reaction but his face looked like it was about to explode so I rushed on quickly before he completely dismissed it "I know it's risky. I know he's dangerous, but he won't open up with the two guards standing there the whole time."

Peter thought about it seriously, I could see the arguments forming in his mind ready to use….but I had a response for every single one and he knew that. With a look of grudging respect he called over the two orderlies, both men I didn't know, and explained that they would be waiting outside and be ready to run in at a moment's notice. He walked over with the same look of tiredness I'd seen in his office and grabbed my arm roughly pulling my aside.

"Listen Quinzel, I'm trusting you here. In fact I'm trusting you far more than I should so you best get results. That man in there is an animal you understand! Do not trust him. He's going to try and twist you against everyone like last time, don't fall for it."

All I could manage was a nod before he stalked away, no more words of comfort. I knew I he wanted results with the Joker as much as I did, but that didn't give him a right to be an ass. I ran my hand over my arm where he'd grabbed it, feeling it sting slightly. I couldn't dwell on Kingston aggressive attitude, I'd got what I wanted and it was time to see if this was all an awful mistake.

It was surreal walking into that room again, because instantly I felt the same dread and helplessness that I had last week. It didn't matter that I'd had time to prepare, that I knew what was coming, I was still relieved when I managed to sit down before collapsing. The only difference this time was that instead of looking down uninterested, I had the Jokers full attention. He was slouched back in the chair completely at ease despite the manacles on his wrists, his eternal grin fixed on me as I walked in.

"Good morning Joker, I'm here for our second session."

"Doc, where are your err charming friends?" His tone might have seemed light hearted but there was a blazing curiosity behind those eyes that started to make me second guess just how much damage he could do before the orderlies could get in. Instantly my mind went back to Peter statement about the Joker being an animal. There was no mistaking how predatory his gaze was.

"I asked the orderlies wait outside. I thought you might prefer being alone." I wanted to sound like I was comfortable being alone with him but I knew it was a mistake the minuet the words came out of my mouth.

"Why Doc, I'm surprised at how err forward you are. You gotta buy a fella diner first" Followed of course by that jarring howl of a laugh, but strangely he didn't break eye contact the whole time he laughed.

He was sitting up straight now, the atmosphere changing as his body dominated the room. I'd never truly appreciated just how tall he was. He'd always stayed slumped in the chair but now as he leant forward over the table I realised just how physically intimidating he could be when he wanted. His lank green hair hung around his face, looking almost out of place without his makeup in place. Most people would have pushed back the stray strands but he didn't even seem to notice. He was to intently focused on staring me down with an unreadable expression.

"Doc sounds so….cold." The Joker pulled an over exaggerated sad face, "Can I call you Harley?" The way his voice said my name send shivers down my spine, but it was a good thing. The first name bases rather than simply calling me "Doc" had to be a good sign didn't it?

_Harley, this is clearly his way of challenging you. You got his attention in the last session by being different, now he wants to see how you'll react. Time to show him you mean business, and impress Kingston._

"Feel free to call my Harley, everyone does. So Joker, what would you like to talk about today? I want you to feel comfortable around me, so instead of me asking you questions today I thought you could lead the discussion"

He paused for a moment, still leaning over the table before whispering "Do you wanna know how I got these scars?"

"I'm sorry Joker, I'd be an idiot to believe you'd tell me the true story. I have watched your sessions you know. Was it four different stories, or five?"

"But you could be the one to really open me up… get the real story I mean. You're the only _decent_ conversation I've had in months. See, everyone else in here thinks I'm crazy and I'm not…..I'm not crazy"

"Honestly, I could debate whether you're clinically insane or not for hours with you and get nowhere. You're like no patient that I've ever had or read about."

"Ohh really?" His grin may have been widen than ever, the puckered scars pulled tight, but his eyes were murderous. I was acutely aware that there were no strong protective orderlies standing behind me to restrain him.

"Whether or not you're insane doesn't matter in the bigger picture, because it doesn't affect your goals. Because you see the contradictions, hypocrisy of the world, you reveal in destroying things to bring people one step closer to seeing the comedy of life the way you do. Now people will call you insane for that, because you think differently, you see the world in a different way, that's what it boils down to. Thousands of physiatrists could diagnose you with every problem possible but that doesn't matter because it doesn't affect your goal to expose the nature of things. You perfect for your perceived purpose, which is why you'll never be cured."

There was a moment silence, he leaned back with his arms crossed staring at me appraisingly. "You know Harley, you're different to all these other _sheep._"

"What do you qualify as different?"

"They're all closed minded, they only see what they can handle, what they can rationalise. See, the guy running this place…King whatever. When he looks at me, he sees an animal he needs to control. The nurses and orderlies are just following his command… no minds of their own. The other psychiatrist…they're all too busy trying to fix me up. Not you. With a little work, you could see things_ as they are_" He was still leaning forward as he spoke, his voice the same tone it had been throughout the entire session, but there was something different. One half of me was screaming to be carefully, that the Joker was simply playing more games with me. However a part of me whispered the difference was due to the fact Joker was actually being honest and letting down his façade.

"And how do you think things really are then Joker?" I hated the way my voice started to waver again, the intensity in his eyes seemed to be permeating my resolve. I didn't know how much longer I could last in a room with him.

"Chaos" Leaning back away from the table, howling with laughter so loud I flinched back.

I wanted to throw up my calm clinical persona that helped me remain distant when dealing with patients but I knew the Joker lived to tear down people's walls and expose all that was under neither. Going in I'd assumed he'd ripped down peoples walls for sadistic pleasure, enjoying making them vulnerable. I wasn't naive enough to think he didn't get a sadistic kick from but there was more to it than that it. The Joker wanted to expose everything hidden, tear people from there comfort zones and force them to confront the chaotic nature we all hide. It was obvious that it was a game of cat and mouse to him, how far he could push someone, how thoroughly he could destroy everything a person was. But there was more to his game than power plays and sadism, now it made sense why the Joker was so driven, and why he could never be stopped or reasoned with.

"Well Joker I think I'll end the session there" It was obviously my voice was pitched and emotional, and the delight in his eyes just made me want to curl up in the dark somewhere.

"Harrlleeyyy, leaving so soon?"

Before he could taunt me further stood up quickly. I couldn't handle any more of this. I was losing not only a grip on the situation but on my emotions. No doubt I'd got myself kicked of the case, let's just hope I didn't lose my job all together. There was unorthodox methods, and bonding with a patient but I'm fairly sure there was a rule against enforcing their deluded ideas of sanity. What's worse is Kingston had warned me before not to get carried away and dragged into the Jokers taunts. Not only had I revealed my doubts on his insanity, enforcing his already twisted perceptions of himself.

"The session is over Joker, no doubt this will be are last session."

Despite how fried my emotions were, or maybe because of it, his comic surprised face made me bust out laughing. To go from his murderous stares and taunting smiles to what seemed like genuine confusion I couldn't help but giggle. I knew I shouldn't say anything more, especially not after that unprofessional laughter but it wasn't like I would see him again.

"You didn't think they'd let an intern keep your case did you." I lowered my voice hoping the crappy sound system wouldn't pick up my next words, but I'd already fucked up.

It didn't make a difference though, I might as well not have said anything because the Joker was staring at the floor despondently. He was muttering something under his breath I couldn't hear, but I decided I didn't want to know anymore.I exited the room as quickly as I could manage on my shaken legs. The minuet I was out of the room I speed away down the corridor not bothering to tell the orderlies to return the Joker to his cell, they were smart guys they could figure it out. The overwhelming sense of defeat at losing control in the session crashed over me.


	5. Chapter 5

_Hello again there guys, long time to see! I know i havnt been uploading regularly but as I've said before i've just started uni so im a little flustered. Hopefully you enjoy this chapter it was a lot of fun to write...looking foward to adding a few familiar faces in the next chapter though (i promise i'll be quicker to write it this time) and as always sorry for my bad spelling and grammar...i do go back and modify bits honestly. _

I was so tempted to skulk of back to my office or better yet go back to my apartment. The thought of curling up on in my bed and just pretending this day hadn't happened was so alluring I could almost feel the warm sheets around me. There was no time though, as tempting as it was to run away, I knew I needed to defend myself properly to Kingston. I knew my methods were questionable at best, no doubt Kingston would want to query my methods in _great _detail.

The problem was I knew that despite everything, I'd done what was essential for getting results. When I left the room I'd felt as though I'd failed miserably, but why? I'd gotten more from the Joker in two sessions than anyone else had, including Kingston. The stubborn part of me couldn't stand the idea of running away and taking the punishment for questionable methods. I couldn't be the only one to realise that it was the only one who could get the Joker to talk. Well, until he got bored of me.

I knew it was unwise to provoke Peter any more, the sting in my arm serving as a reminder of the last time I'd cornered him. The important thing was that Peter wanted results, and he'd already proven that he didn't care too much about bending rules to get them. I knew if I played up the results I could get from the Joker, and played down my clear doubts on his insanity I could come out on top of this situation. It had to be straight away, I had to make sure I got to him first before any concreate doubt could form.

Walking into Peter's office I knew instantly I'd been the topic of discussion, clearly I wasn't the only one who wanted to get to Peter first. It wasn't the way the room went quiet as I came in, it was the way everyone looked at me as I came in that tipped me off. I could barely focus on any faces, all I could see were multiple pairs of eyes staring piercingly at me filled with anger and disappointment. There were two women and three men all standing around Peters deck, I didn't really recognise any but then I was only an intern, hardly expected to know the board members and high ranking officials

I didn't know where to look until my gaze was caught by Peter standing behind his deck, and then I couldn't look away. Transfixed by the rage that came from him I couldn't help but remember the Jokers words about his need for control. Was it really wise to push him further?

"Harleen, I was just going to call you to come up to talk to us." Every word he said was slow and weighed, his voice tightly controlled to sound casual.

"I know that you think I've screwed up on the Joker case." Rather than addressed Peter and getting overpowered, I decided to address the other Arkham officials. "I understand that by implying I believed him sane I might have worsened his progress. However I think the ends justify the means. We got more data on the Joker in that session then any others, not only that but he's building up a connection with me that helps us gain a much deeper understand of his mentality. It could that be dangerous to server that connection now, and might make him more unstable"

"Are you saying you, an intern, are the only one who can get the Joker to talk? You really think taking away his current favourite will make him more unstable?" The voice came from a woman sat on the right. "As if that was even possible" She muttered, but loud enough so that everyone could hear.

I gave her a quick once over, she looked in her mid-forties and was clearly a restrained conservative women. Dressed in an ill-fitting black pin striped suit with her greying hair scrapped back so tight it looked painful I could already tell she wanted everything done by procedure. I was so tempted to make some sarcastic remark about how even the Joker could get more unstable, and it wasn't something she wanted to see. What was more frustrating to me was her dismissive attitude towards my relationship with the Joker.

_Is she an idiot, the Joker hasn't talked that way with anyone! He even outright said I was different to the other_ _psychiatrist! _Thankfully I managed to squash these thoughts, mostly. Even if the Joker _said_ I wasn't a "Sheep", the Jokers word wasn't exactly reliable. All that mattered at the moment was that he was treating me as though he meant it.

"The Joker is playing a game that's obvious. However at least he's playing so we can study his patterns rather than simply shutting down his psychiatrist. I don't know how long it will be till he gets bored of me, but surely it's the _obvious_ choice that I continue my sessions with him, we should use this chance while we still can."

Thankfully I heard a few mummers of agreement around the room, despite how the woman who'd spoken face tightened into an ever sterner disapproving expression.

"Kingston you can't really be debating keeping Quinzel on the case can you?" Her voice was so shrill it seemed to piece my ear drums and the fact she didn't even look at me as she spoke, as though I wasn't even in the room infuriated me. It was much harder to squash down my inner voice this time but thankfully I stayed composed.

"Excuse me, I don't know who you are but why wouldn't you want me on the case? Have I not delivered results? We got an insight into how the Joker views not only the world but other individuals. We got that because of how _I _reacted in there, but feel free to try yourself if you think you can do better. Do tell us if you find the Joker can get more unstable."

The glee I felt at seeing her face flush red, standing out against her greying hair and hideous grey suit, was short lived. Peter voice quickly cut across any response she might have had.

"Quinzel you should leave. Take the rest of the day off. We'll finish the deliberations on the Joker case without you." He didn't even look at me when he spoke, and with that I was dismissed. I could feel all eyes in the room on me bar Peters as I walked out. I had to be extra careful closing the door, my mind screaming for me to slam it like a child.

Thankfully I managed to hold back my emotions, although the whole way home I was seething just beneath the surface. Usually when I caught the train back through Gotham to my apartment there was a slight sense of dread. Gotham wasn't exactly the nicest city, and considering I was only an intern I wasn't living in the nicest area. Tonight though I would have loved some thug to try and mug me on the way home, I was just itching for a fight. An outlet for all the rage. Even when I did get home, I could barely put the keys in my apartment door because my hands were shaking so much.

I thought a drink might help calm me down, I was sure I had a bottle of red something or other _somewhere_ in the house. I didn't drink much honestly. I rarely went out to enjoy the nightlife of Gotham. It's just that I'd always been so focused on being the best, so driven by my career path I rarely have time to stop. Still, considering I'd most likely ruined my career I think I deserved a few glasses of wine to calm me down.

I contemplated texting a few friends and actually going out, properly drowning my sorrows but it just wasn't me. I wanted to just curl up alone and pretend I hadn't pissed of the most influential man at Arkham. If anything could stop my promising career in its track it was Peter Kingston. The worst thing was the injustice of it all, because I was actually getting results but that didn't matter. All that mattered to them was keeping up appearances and procedures.

While I drank my way through the bottle I couldn't help but think about the Joker, the way he could tear them all down. I knew it was dangerous territory to think about the Joker, something that left me on edge and anxious. Seeing as I was already on edge though it didn't seem to matter too much. The stern women from earlier came into my head as well. Just imaging the way he would no doubt cause her to lose that stuck up façade. Oh how the Joker would reduce her to tears, when she couldn't control him. He would relish in someone like that being thrown in with him, someone so easy.

I could picture it so clearly in my mind. She'd waltz in full of false bravado, acting as though she owned the place. The first thing the Joker would pick up on was her appearance, mocking the way her hair was pulled back so tightly, her clothes so outdated. In my mind's eye I could already see his fake lecherous grin, tongue slipping out over his teeth. He'd make smart remarks about how repressed she was, how in control she needed to be. Then it would really start. I remember watching the videos of his sessions and how his eyes would light up when he hit on the weak link in someone's armour, when he could really start to dismantle them. I knew the Joker would see her the way I saw her, all bark and no bite. Just imaging how he could reduce her to tears with ease brought me to giggles.

Until I caught sight of myself laughing in the reflection in the glass, now empty on the table. I looked almost…. Crazy. The most notable thing was my hair, it was out of its neat bun leaving it hanging loosely in tendrils around my face. It was my eyes that drew me in the reflection though, there was a dangerous wild flash in them that I had never seen.

I picked up the glass, slowly pouring out the last of the bottle out into the glass, the red liquid nearly overflowing, blurring the image of myself as it filled up. Yet I couldn't drink any more. I just held the glass up to my face and stared at my blurred image in the glass. I barely recognised myself anymore. In only three months I'd ruined everything and why? Because some mentally deranged murderous clown might have told him just a little bit more about himself.

I couldn't handle it, I threw the full glass at the wall screaming as it shattered. There was a pause of silence as I stared at my own hand in shock before I burst out laughing. For once I didn't care. I didn't care that there was glass all over the floor, I didn't care about the red wine slowly dripping down my wall. None of it mattered anymore. I knew in the morning I would clean it up, be mortified that I had lost control of myself.

Tonight however I was sick of being the good student, the perfect intern, always in control and always trying to please someone else. Here I was, laughing at how the Joker might mentally destroy some women I'd meet once. I'd never once thought about how he'd changed me. Just because he hadn't broken me down in those sessions didn't mean he wasn't subtly altering me, breaking me. I'd spent my entire life trying to please other people. Hell I had spent three months just trying to prove to Peter how competent I was, and now I couldn't care less.

I couldn't sleep at all that night, my waking dreams haunted by visions of the Joker taunting me. I had never really thought about how I had changed since I'd come into contact with him. Before our sessions I never would have been so openly hostile towards Peter, or even the women from the boardroom. I didn't even know her name or her position within Arkham and yet I'd probably made an enemy of her. The old Harleen would never even dared question her, let alone outright challenge her…and the new me didn't even care that I had pissed her off.

By the time morning came I'd barely slept. It seemed to be a common occurrence since I'd taken on the Joker case. _At least I don't have to worry about that any more do I?_ I thought sarcastically on the way into Arkham. Inside though I couldn't figure it whether it was a good thing or not. Last night made me realise just how subtlety I had changed since taking on the Joker case, and it wasn't necessarily a good thing. Part of me was glad at the change though, no longer was I the submissive studious Harleen, I was standing up for myself for once. I was battling myself on whether I should even stay on the Joker case even if by some miracle Kingston ignored my outburst. Of course that snarky ever growing voice whispered that I wouldn't be able to say no.

Ohh well, it's not like a control freak like Peter was going to let my stay on the Jokers case anyway


	6. Chapter 6

_Heya guys, sorry i haven't updated in so long. As I've said before I'm at uni and all my deadlines are in the next two weeks. Originally i'd plan to make this chapter longer but i didnt want to keep you all waiting. Once again thank you so much for all your support, i promise more Joker next chapter! Soon i'll be on xmas break and i can focus on writing (as usual im sorry for spelling mistakes i missed i swear i do proof read :'() _

"You're no longer the Jokers psychiatrist, I'm taking you off the case permanently." The words rang in my ear, slipping into my head.

They shouldn't have shocked me. I knew it was coming. The minute I entered Arkham Asylum the guard on duty at the entrance desk told me I had to go straight to Kingston's office. That should have made everything obvious. That passive aggressive way he was having his orders delivered down to me, that show of authority. Yet there had still been a spark of hope in me. I couldn't accept it in my mind that I wouldn't be the one opening up the Jokers thoughts, understanding his mind. Even as his patronising face full of fake concern, like a disappointed father, looked down at me I still couldn't quiet comprehend what he was saying.

"Peter please just….." I barely got a few words out before he cut across me.

"Quinzel, there is nothing you can say that could change mine or the board member's minds. Even you must admit that you went too far with the Joker" He even shook his head as though it was a pantomime. So he was going to go back to treating me like a child. Was I not worthy enough for him to be serious with?

"What if I admit I went too far, give a formal apology to the board members? If I stick to a strict regime laid out by you, will you put me back on the case?" Even I could hear the desperation of my plea, but if being desperate and appealing to Peter's love of power would keep me on the case I would do it in a heartbeat. I just wouldn't think about why I was trying so hard.

"Harleen, there is no way I could let you see the Joker again. It's clear the strain of such a…difficult patient has gotten to you. The pressure is just too much for someone like you. It's my fault, I misjudged your capabilities."

Ouch. So it really was back to square one. As if it wasn't bad enough that he was treating me like a child, but to openly say I couldn't live up to his expectations, that was cold. I wasn't giving up without a fight though.

"Listen Peter, I think this is all blown out of proportion. I'll admit the Joker case has put a strain on me but I wouldn't be human if it didn't. Anyone else you put on that case will have the same problem, but I think I'm more…adjusted to him now."

He gave me a sickly smile I had forgot he even used. He seemed to pause thinking carefully about his words behind that smile before once again shaking his head in that dramatic infuriating way.

"It's not just that I've adjusted to him either, he's adjusted to me. Do you really want to put someone new in there with him?" I asked him, cutting across whatever patronising response he had.

"Harleen, we can all see the stress is too much for you to handle. You're breaking apart." Of course Peter avoiding answering, I knew I had him on this point at least. Whether or not they wanted me on the case the Joker seemed to want me, at least for now.

"You think anyone else will be able to handle it better?"

"Well, you're not the first to be on the case…but you are the only one I've seen him affect so deeply." Once again there was the patronising sickly sweetness that just made my skin crawl. All that fake concern as though he was simply trying to help me rather than take the Joker away from me.

"I'm also the only one that managed to get results out of him. Do you really think that you can just put someone else in there with him and he'll carry on talking?"

"Honestly Harleen, you're underestimating your colleagues. I'm not trying to deny that you've got some decent data in just two sessions, but you're hardly the only young pretty doctor we have here."

If I thought I hated Peter before, it was nothing to the white fury that I felt towards him when he uttered those words with such a smug expression.

_"_You didn't give me the case because I'm young and blonde Peter. I worked hard for you to take me seriously so don't you dare try and cover your tracks now and make it out like I was some blonde airhead to distract the Joker." Even though my blood seemed to be on fire my words were as cold as ice, controlled. I wonder if he could tell behind my cool stare I was imagining taking the pen on the table and stabbing it into his hand with as much force as I could muster. I'd never been such a violent person, at least not that I'd noticed anyway. Clearly the Joker was bringing out parts of me I didn't even knew I had.

"Harleen, listen…..I certainly respect you as a professional but I chose you because I thought you're appearance and personality would get the most rise out of the Joker. You knew that from the beginning"

I was speechless, completely speechless. _Of course you knew Harley, didn't the Joker tell you he was using you. Peter even admitted it to you after that first session. Sure he put it sweetly the first time, made sure to flatter you and down play the manipulation but you always knew. _

"Of course I respected your ability don't misunderstand, but clearly the Joker case is out of your league. I have however assigned you a new patient. I recognise in you that curiosity and drive for interesting and unique cases that I had when I started out. It's my fault really for giving you such a difficult patient so early. I've trusted you with a different patient, against the advice of the other board members might I add. I still see a little of myself in you Harleen, or I wouldn't be giving you such a huge second chance."

I knew I wanted to lash out and shout, wanted to fight against what was clearly a ploy to placate me, but I just didn't have the energy. I silently took the folder he handed me. It felt like a death sentence. I glancing at the name at the top of the file defeated acceptance.

"Edward Nigma?"

"You may know him better by his alias, the Riddler. I think he'll be a better patient for you, someone intriguing but not as….antagonistic. He truly is an interesting case, I've had a few sessions with him myself. "

I couldn't help but admit to being a little excited at the thought of getting to study someone like the Riddler, it would no doubt be as interesting as Peter. He also wouldn't be nearly as much as a strain as the Joker. But I couldn't get the Jokers face out of my mind, _I_ wanted to be the one unlocking those secrets. I didn't matter that my career wasn't as doomed as I thought, I still wanted to see the Joker. The thought of him opening up to anyone else made my vision take on a red tint. I could see it in myself now, this obsession I had with him. I just wasn't ready to stop seeing him.

"And who will take over the Joker case?" To my credit I didn't sound nearly as enraged as I did in my head.

"Roselyn Hunt, brilliant physiatrist. You might have encountered her, she has been working at Arkham for a few years now. Then again she's usually too busy to get to know the interns. In fact she's starting her first session today, she wanted to get straight to work with the Joker. You really don't need to worry about the Joker anymore, he's in good hands." That sickly sweet smile told me I'd been dismissed.

I knew what Peter was attempting to do, he hoped that by telling me that Roselyn was starting her sessions today I'd have to come to terms with my replacement. _Ha, Peter you really do think I'm just a blonde airhead, a defeatist. Well Peter you've underestimated me once again. _Plans were already forming in my head, and none of them involved simply accepting my replacement. Even if I was still underplaying the clear obsession I had for the Joker in my head, all that matters was that I get back on the case. He was my patient and I wasn't about to lose him, no one could understand him the way I did.

I knew there was no way I could visit either the Joker or Roselyn Hunt, whoever she was, without suspicion and probably suspension. Instead I had a sneakier plan in mind, if Peter thought I was just a dumb blonde then I would use that to my advantage. Time to pay a visit to my favourite orderly Steven.


End file.
